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Monday, June 21st, 2010
What a wild ride, but it's finally done! The international anthology featuring ten writers from around the world is finally available for your ordering pleasure at the Cover Stories Official Storefront.

current mood: accomplished

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Sunday, March 1st, 2009
9:36 am - Etsy Shop
Ahh, my drive-by postings. :)

Just a quick update to let you know that there's items available at my etsy shop that will have something for everyone. You can find it at http://xirconnia.etsy.com

Buy Handmade


current mood: cold

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Monday, December 8th, 2008
9:47 pm - THE TOWER is officially pre-released!
I've been resurrecting SmilingGoth.com slowly but surely, complete with new videos for your viewing pleasure. Go check out the What's New? section at SmilingGoth.com and then let me know what you think of the NEW BOOKSTORE! Woot! :)

current mood: accomplished

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Monday, September 29th, 2008
8:47 pm - NEMESIS and LAMIA are BOTH available now -- AND NEMESIS GOT RAVE REVIEWS!

For those following the saga... NEMESIS has met with RAVE REVIEWS FROM THE MONSTERS NEXT DOOR MAGAZINE!

THE TOWER will be released in October.

For now, catch up on the story and snag your copies today!

NEMESIS paperback available at Amazon.

LAMIA paperback available at Amazon.

Kindle Editions for the technophiles:

NEMESIS Kindle Edition at Amazon.

LAMIA Kindle Edition at Amazon.

For FREE story downloads, check out the official storefront. Get pre-releases and free stuff not available anywhere else!

current mood: accomplished

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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
BUY IT!!!! :)



current mood: amused

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Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
5:53 pm - NEMESIS published, and VICTORIAN HORRORS!!!
So the awesome news: NEMESIS IS PUBLISHED!!! NOW GO BUY IT!

And the cooler news? CHECK IT OUT at Victorian Horrors!

current mood: amused

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Sunday, November 4th, 2007
3:00 pm - NEMESIS has been published!!!

current mood: amused

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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
10:02 pm - I'M ENGAGED
Well, for those who were unawares, I've been haunting MySpace instead of LJ for a while. More functionality and what-not.

In other news... I'M ENGAGED!!!!

Yeah, I said it. :)

Engaged for a whole week and two days now. RAWR!

current mood: amused

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Sunday, June 25th, 2006
9:41 pm - Resurrection of the Smiling Goth
So... it's been a couple of years since I updated the website, you may have seen it. SmilingGoth.com?

Anyway... registering a site for my mother and finishing NEMESIS got me thinking... I should update.

I started by creating a more creative-oriented profile on here at Smiling_Goth for anyone who would like to add me as a friend.

The plan is to start a more immediately interactive area of SmilingGoth via MySpace. The Smiling_Goth profile will feature news and updates, sneak-peeks at stories, interviews, comics, art, photogrpahy, etc. Membership truly has its privs, kids, so get on the bandwagon now! :)



current mood: amused

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Monday, May 9th, 2005
6:48 pm - In Praise of Sha-Na-Na
I'm sure I've used that title before, but oh well. Deal. It's a Milkmen song, and this post is related to Zipperhead.

After some thought, I began to wonder just what Zipperhead meant. One definition refers to some sort of asian. The dictionary slang version says it's a person with a closed mind or a zombie. IBM has even adopted the term-- I'm guessing for their helpdesk callers. It's also a drink, very close to a Vampire, but instead of cranberry juice, you use 7-up or soda water (not Coke, soda water, aka seltzer).

Who knew? It's also a band in Chicago.

And somewhere out there in internet-land, kids are glad the place is closing because it didn't sell 'dreadlocks'. WTF? Posers much? Grow your own, already. It's not the ghetto fab stores that now plague South Street. It's ZIPPERHEAD. Clearly the lil cherubs have no clue that this is a sign of anyone dubbed 'different' will now be swept cleanly off of a street that used to thrive on the artistic, creative, and DIFFERENT. It was like the East Village. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. Ahhh... to be ignorant and unawares of anything around me...

People at the bar want to know why I drink. I usually give the ole Dean Martin response of 'I drink to forget.... And I forgot what it was I was trying to forget.' But countless bar napkins stuffed with my drunken scrawl and pushed unceremoniously into my pockets night after night reminds me of exactly why I drink. I never lose sight of my purpose. Although I have cut back quite a bit since the Mardi Gras incident...... but that is another story. Show us your tits, indeed.

current mood: hmmm

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Thursday, May 5th, 2005
9:59 pm - New Way? What's This About a New Way?
Zipperhead is CLOSING????????!!!!

current mood: angry

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Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
7:10 pm - THE GHOST THAT FEEDS....

current mood: amused

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Friday, April 1st, 2005
9:13 pm - All in All It Was All Just Bricks in the Wall....
Had a bad night... tossing, turning, what little sleep I got was riddled with nightmares.

The only one I can remember was one in which I stared into a mirror and adjusted a hat with netting over the brim. It was a black straw hat, and I wore a very corporate black dress. My face was pale in the glass, eyes sad and empty, void of life, staring back at me and through me. My makeup was caked on, the blush on my cheeks a color I would never wear, stage makeup it seemed. So I fixed my hair and dabbed gingerly at the fire engine red lipstick caking my lips.

I straightened my dress and placed the hat on a buffet table in the corner while I scrunched up my nose at all the lillies around me. Easter lillies. Usually so beautiful on Easter morning, but in this dream they had a funeral undertone, their scent covering the stench of embalming fluid.

There was a crowd of people gathered, some sad, some consoling, some nostalgically smiling toward one end of the lilly-filled room. I made my way through the crowd, some of them turning to smile at me through their tears and I placed a hand on them to comfort them.

As I got to the end of the room, I saw the coffin. Roses were all around the casket, red and vibrant against the white of the lillies. I approached the casket, almost afraid of what I would find, looking to the people on either side of me, all of them mourners. They didn't seem to notice me as I placed my hands on the edge of the casket and leaned over and kissed my corpse's cheek.

current mood: sick

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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
10:57 pm - S to the U to the Z to the I-- defined!

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

current mood: awake

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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
11:17 pm - Side Effects May Include Excessive Overeating....aka A Day in the Life
Because someone said I seemed like a fascinating woman....

I'm not, really.

Stares that make me feel dirty, and I hide away the fact that I want to hide away from the looks cast. Like I'm some piece of meat to be examined. Belljar mentalities and all I am is a chloroformed lab mouse.

In the morning I can hear my neighbors fighting next door and I fear ever becoming that angry at another human being over nothing. I drink my coffee and turn the TV up to watch the weather. I don't even care about the weather. I just don't want to hear the screaming and yelling anymore.

At night I can't sleep. There's so much running through my head, and it's hard to shut it all off enough to sleep well. I wake up and hit the snooze button a hundred times. Cassie is a shitty backup alarmclock. He likes to sleep as much as I do.

I go to work, I get everything I set out to do done. I enjoy my job and I fuss with the new haircut and scrutinize the color. Chocolate cherry suits me.

I tried pastrami on rye with mustard for the first time today and loved it.

When work ends, I either cab it home or walk and enjoy the weather. My knee hurts more when it rains. After I get to my street, I go to O'Neal's or go home. In O'Neal's I have a Jack n Coke or two. Sometimes three. I hang out with the regulars there, and am bar-friends with some of them. Sometimes I talk seriously, and they even listen. Bits and pieces of reality poking into our little fantasy world all dark and safe.

The highlight of the day: the phone call I get from Michael. It doesn't matter what we talk about, I just like listening to him. (Sorry if I've kept you up too late too often, sweetie :) )

And on the occasional nights I feel inspired, I write, or I paint, or I draw. All stuff from my head that needs to be vomited out so that I can finally sleep. And every once in awhile, I don't have nightmares, but happy dreams....

current mood: awake

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Thursday, March 17th, 2005
10:34 pm - St. Patty's Day Drunkfest '05
"I just decided I don't trust you anymore...." -- The Wedding Present, "Brassneck"

I dunno what it means, but I needed some pseudo Irish tunes to celebrate, and the Wedding Present was the closest to the Pogues I could get. LOL.

Needless to say I've become inebriated.... even the slice of pizza ain't helping this one. Apologies for the typos. Deal. It's St. Patty's Day... I celebrated. You should, too. :)

Off to North Carolina this weekend for fun in the sun.... with the 82nd Airborne. :)


current mood: drunk

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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
2:51 pm - Good Times and Tilapia Fish

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq

• You must tell 1 people about this game.
Michael is the one that you love.
Paul is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about Melinda.
Adam is the one who knows you very well.
TJ is your lucky star.
Love Under Will is the song that matches with Michael.
Evil is the song for Paul.
Slow Hands is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and Do You Love Me? is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz

current mood: coffee

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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
I say it every year, and I'll say it again this year. I hate it.

Hate it hate it hate it.

And yes, it IS because I'm angry and bitter at the world, thank you very much.

So there's my lil retrospective bird-flip to St. Hallmark and his bloody valentine origami littering everyone's mailbox but mine.

Yes, it hurts, those seething little papercuts from cards never received, those pricks from thorns on dozens of roses never sent. How the hell is anyone alone on this horrid day of cooing couples and velvet boxes containing sparkling diamond rings supposed to feel?

Rejected. Outcast. Isolated. All of the Above?

This year was different, though. It was self-inflicted. I chose to be alone. And sober....

In fact, I didn't care. I felt okay being by myself. I proudly said a resounding "NO." when people asked if I had plans for the 'big day'. It wasn't until I realized that my sneaking suspicions were right, and I had been left behind somewhere. I hate being a ghost from the past and a skeleton in the closet. Like all the progress I had made went out the window and I ended up ten steps behind where I started in my efforts to move forward.

I'm at a crossroads. I know I'll end up taking the road I've travelled a thousand times before... but the question is, how soon will I turn onto it? Will this time be different and I can finally have found that elusive shortcut to the light at the end of the tunnel?

It sucks when you don't want someone anymore... but you want them to suffer the way you did when they tore out your heart for no good reason. Preachy self-righteous bastards telling you, 'Someday you will know the happiness I have found without you.... I am alive and better for having left you behind.'

You know what I say? I say I will be there to see you fall flat on your arrogant face. I will be there to see your precious Troy burn to bitter tear-streaked ashes. I will witness it, and I will say merely that justice has been done. No more malice, no more rage, no more sadness. Just hardened conviction and the hope in hell that what I've found is what I've been looking for my entire life.

current mood: awake

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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
11:51 pm - Paper Dolls Run with Scissors.....
No good can come of this.... It's late, I should be sleeping.... I'm not. Battery power in the ole laptop is at 87% and dropping.... can I finish? It has been brought to my attention that those around me, including me, are having weird dreams, if not downright scary ones.

For example: last night's walk through the shifting sands featured sex sex sex. Don't get all excited, it was a stopped attempt at having sex with.... Ozzy Osbourne. There, I've said it. I still feel slightly skeeved by the whole thing. Fer chrissakes, he was wearing a black latex condom with argyle trim around the head. Uuugh. I admit it, I'm just not that goth, apparently.

The nights before last night's Dali-esque phantasmagoria of Ozzy and argyle cock-sock are a dark blur of just plain old fear. Not sure exactly what happened, but it was dark, and I was angry and afraid. I'm sure there must have been something lurking in the dream-murk to make me so scared, but I think maybe it's better if i don't think about it. I might find something.

Turns out I'm not the only one having weird dreams, though. Those around me have been having their own nightmares/weird dreams. And my cat's been acting weird as hell of late as well. Hmmmmm...... If he starts running for higher ground I am so outta this sea level city.

current mood: can't sleep, clown'll eat me

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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
8:04 pm - A Snowglobe Existence
White swirls against thin-ice panes of glass like the insides of snowglobes. At last, winter has truly come to Philadelphia, covering cobblestone alleys and the reaching blackened fingers of treebranches in a white veil of cold sleep.

From behind the glass outside looks peaceful and pure, the falling snow hypnotic in its slow and chaotic descent, the streets serene and abandoned by the pedestrian.

The room around me is surreal in that moment, almost superimposed over itself, as if the very soul of the original room is breaking through the paperwalls.

Looking at the rooftops around me I realize I don't belong all the way down here, staring up at the billowing chimneys, I belong on the rooftops, in the clouds. All dreamers should be allowed to live in the clouds, watching reality unfold below in the streets and lower buildings, they shouldn't be allowed to touch the ground and forced to wake up.

current mood: snow white

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